a lesson learned about debt

I have often been called a "queen" for knowing "secrets" of spending less on groceries or finding freebies or making transactions at CVS that cost me nothing. I want to set the record straight and let you know we're as real as you are. Someone taught me what I am teaching you. Truth is that we've been in bad financial shape for a long time and we still are. Getting out of debt takes a lot of discipline. First, you have to want to change your life. I don't mean just talking about wanting to or doing this one thing or that one thing temporarily. You have to really really want to enough to make a plan and stick with it. For us, it was trial and error. We did good about getting rid of some unnecessary things in our life. We counted up how much we made and listed everything we spend that money on. Separately we added up the non-necessity bills. I remember rental furniture was one of them. At the time, we had a lot of non-necessity bills that we still counted as necessity because of our worldly addictions. For what we spent on rental furniture every month, we could have something new. We ended up turning it all back in. We went one month without living room furniture and the next month bought a futon for $90. That was the most uncomfortable thing ever! It was definitely not something I wanted to keep around for too long, but was decent enough to not go back out and get the old rental furniture back. lol I often thought of it as our "lesson learned" couch. Since we never had much to put back every month for new furniture, we waited till our tax return came back and went to pay cash for some floor model furniture at the furniture store. We got a really good deal on that for paying cash and for taking something used by the store. Although now stained by the kids, it's really comfy and makes the living room look like a relaxing place to be. (the stains just match the crayola drawings on our white walls lol)

Despite doing that, we were still making financial mistakes along the way. When we'd get rid of a certain bill, we'd end up spending that extra money every month on new bills. We thought we were really ready to end the cycle of debt but our hearts weren't. We were still too greedy. It's totally ok to admit that if you're just not ready. One day you will be. But I'm learning now just how awesome it is on the other side when you do really make good changes in your life.

Like I said earlier, we're still in bad shape. We're still not quite at a place where we're making it. We have really bad luck. As soon as we get to the place of bills being paid on time and we're just about to cross the line of keeping money in the bank and being able to start saving for our emergency fund, we have an emergency. Flat tires, hospital bills, hurricanes, last minute plane flights or gasoline, the list goes on and on. Something always sets us back.

I realized that we're still overspending by not making room to save for these emergencies. And it isn't just about clipping coupons and reducing your grocery spending that is going to make it work. I remember going at least 18 years without owning a cell phone, needing cable/satellite (I spent several years not even watching tv at all), etc. I didn't even use the internet till I was in my teens. What kind of life am I giving my children by becoming addicted to these things now? Obviously I found better things to do with my time and made more friends to hang out with. Think of how much time you spend inside your home because of these things. Could you really live without these things again? Would your family benefit if you spent more time together and being more creative at finding ways to occupy your time?

The answer for us is yes. We can live without these things. It's the only way we'll reach the other side of our mountain of debt. If we stop having bills (aside from rent and utility) to pay, our debt has no where else to go but to decrease. Sometimes you really have to reexamine your spending and come to terms with what you may have to life without to live better and debt free. Sure it's not what the majority of the world is doing, but one day you'll have more money than those who are currently spending everything they have. As Dave Ramsey says, "Live today like no one else so that tomorrow you can live like no one else."